


Wishful Thinking

by cherrywoods



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Food, Other, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26803258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrywoods/pseuds/cherrywoods
Summary: Near suffers from survivor's guilt on his birthday.
Relationships: Near | Nate River/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Wishful Thinking

Near snuggled up to the blanket his love had placed on him when he crashed on the couch. By the time he came home he was too tired to walk all the way to the bedroom he and his love shared. It had been another long night of work on his current case but just like all the others he was coming close to the end of this case, all the pieces were beginning to fit together.

Near's love shuffled into the room. They gently rubbed their hand down his arm and spoke softly, "Are you awake? I've got a surprise for you in the kitchen." 

Near's tired eyes gazed up at his love. A small smile traveled across his lips, "I'm awake, I told you that you didn't have to do anything for me. This is just another day." 

Near's love giggled, "I know but I couldn't help myself. I really think you'll like this!" 

They quickly yanked the blanket off of Near's body, causing him to shiver at the sudden change of temperature. He stood up and took his love's outstretched hand, his long hair pooled around him as he followed them into the kitchen. 

His love stopped before opening the door to the kitchen, they turned to him and squealed with glee, "Wait stay here, I forgot to add the candles! I'll tell you when you can come in!" 

Near waited patiently behind the door, listening to the muffled sounds of his love excitedly adding candles to his cake. "Okay, you can come in now!" 

Near's eye widened when he saw the cake that was on the table in front of him. A tall, cylindrical cake covered in yellow frosting. Colorful confetti sprinkles danced around the bottom of the cake. At the top of the cake, a colorful mix of red, green, and blue Legos were skillfully drawn, the candles casted a soft glow on the Lego pattern. He almost didn't want to eat it and ruin the masterpiece his love had created. 

Near's love looked at him with joyful eyes, "Do you like it? It took me forever but I think I got the Lego pieces just right. Even if it's not perfect I can promise you that it tastes great!" 

Near was at a loss for words, "I-I... Wow this is- this is amazing. You put in all this work for me?" 

Near's love clapped their hands together and smiled, "Of course I did! You deserve it! Coming this far in age in your dangerous job is deserving of a celebration! Now go ahead and make a wish sweetheart!"

Near looked down at his birthday cake and sighed, "Yes, I've been able to make it in this world for 29 years, that's quite the accomplishment."  
  
He glanced back up at his love who laughed nervously. He let out a dry laugh of his own, his tone becoming bitter as he spoke again, "I've surpassed everyone. Mello, L, and Matt. I should feel happy about that shouldn't I? Wasn't that the goal from the very beginning? To be at the top?"

"Near.." 

Near paced back and forth, keeping his eyes locked to the floor. He suddenly stopped at the feeling of his love grabbing his hand and slowly pulling him towards them in a consoling embrace. His love's concerned eyes looked up into his own, they spoke softly as they stroked his hair. 

"Near honey I know how tough it must be on you to lose so many of your friends but their deaths weren't your fault. You didn't take them down to reach your metaphorical top, it's just the way life happens sometimes. None of them would want you to torture yourself the way you do over their deaths." 

He bit the corner of his lip in frustration and looked back down at the floor. His voice came out as a low whisper, "It's been so long, honestly, I don't even know why I miss them." 

He looked back up at his love, tears welling in his eyes, he voice croaked as he tried to speak through the tears, "Mello hated me. I never got a chance to meet L. Matt and I weren't close but he was always kind to me. He formed his own opinion of me and never let Mello influence him, I respect him for that."

He couldn't let anymore words out, he dropped his head into his love's chest and sobbed. His love's right hand continued to stroke his hair while the other hand slowly rubbed up and down his back. 

"I'm so sorry Near. I don't think Mello ever hated you. From what you've told me about him I think he respected you, he just let his own insecurities get in the way of having a proper friendship with you. I think if L were here today he would be proud of who you've become, same goes for Mello and Matt. They all valued you and cared for you sweetheart. Don't forget that." 

Near sniffled and lifted his head up to face his love. He placed a lingering kiss on their forehead and pulled them into a tight hug. His throat was sore from crying, "I love you, please don't ever leave me." 

It was his love's turn to spill tears. They gave him a deep and gentle kiss, breaking away for air they murmured into his lips, "I'm not going anywhere, I'll always be here for you. I promise Near." 

Near gave his love a soft squeeze before he pulled away. "I'd like to make my wish now." 

He walked over to the cake and contentedly smiled at the candles. He drew his lips together and blew out the first candle, " _I wish that wherever Mello is, he's finally able to accept and love himself for the amazing person that he is._ " 

The flame of the second candle was extinguished, " _My wish for L is that he's finally at peace, never having to stay awake over a case or fear of his life being cut short._ " 

The third candle took some time to go out, he chuckled and spoke out loud to his love, "Of course Matt's candle has to be the tricky one. I wouldn't expect anything less." His love giggled at his quip. " _My wish for Matt is that he's surrounded by people who care about him so he'll never feel abandoned again_." 

Near stared at the last candle, thinking about what exactly he wanted to say. He looked at his love, his beautiful partner, the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. What could he possibly wish for them that hadn't already come true. He eyes lit up with realization, he looked down at the candle and gave one last blow. " _My wish for my love is that they'll be given everything they could ever want in their life and that I'll be granted the ability to make that wish come true_." 

Near's love looked at him with loving eyes, "Do you think you'll get everything you wished for?" 

Near smiled, "I'm certain that I will."


End file.
